# Live, Learn, Die
>  The psychology and spirituality of unlearning.
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URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/about/
Last updated: 2026-07-04T16:47:36.000Z
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## Posts
### The Most Important Thing
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/the-most-important-thing/
Last updated: 2026-07-31T06:18:02.000Z
I have recently read a powerful book by Adyashanti, and since then I start most of my meditations with the question, "What is the most important thing right now?" And I have found that it's a really powerful practice. He says:

> You could apply this concept to any moment and ask, What is the most important thing right now? Not the thing that comes from your head or even from your heart, but from deep down in your gut. What is it?

> As a spiritual teacher, I have seen that to define the most important thing is the most important thing. It is the first step. Until you do, your life does not even belong to you.  
>  
> — *The Most Important Thing: Discovering Truth at the Heart of Life (Adyashanti)*

## Don't immediately accept the easy answers

If you ask this question, then all kinds of thoughts and answers might pop into your head for it. But don't be satisfied with just the first answer that pops into your head. The question is really more important than the answer. And the answer doesn't have to come so clearly that you have to write it down.

I find that for me generally the answer is silence. And you sit with that silence. But then you get a nice feeling, an inspiration that, "Oh, hey, maybe I should just do this for a while. Maybe I should do that." It's more like a wordless prompt that's coming out of silence than a clear, well-formed answer.

## Be really honest with yourself

There are all kinds of answers that might pop into your head that come from society, from your friends, from your parents, and so on. The most important thing is X because society tells me that should be the way it is. Try to let go of these kinds of answers because they are not really authentic. What is the most important thing right now **to you**? It could be something really simple and really small, like, "Okay, I really need to get moving today. I really need to do a run." Generally, the feeling of wanting to do something will come first before being formulated like a thought in your mind.

## Keep it simple

It is important to remind you that we are talking about the single most important thing right now. Not about a top 10 list or even a top 3 list. Not a to-do list. Just choose **one** thing. In any case, the truth is that you can only do one thing at a time. And the answer for what that thing is might shift actually even multiple times per day. Until eventually, as you keep sitting with this question, you also get kind of like a big-picture answer. What is the guiding principle for your life? What is the most important thing in your life? But it is important to also apply it with just the day-to-day things, like what is the most important thing for me today or in this hour. You will find that sitting with this question is a really good experience.
### How to Be Always Successful?
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/how-to-be-always-successful/
Last updated: 2026-07-10T17:41:22.000Z
We could say that most people in the current modern world are almost obsessed with success, with the idea of success. There is so much written and said about "success" or "failure".

But what is success or failure really in the world? Is there an absolute definition of success that is guaranteed to make you happy?

It might seem like it. Like having a lot of money, millions of dollars, seems to be the most common criteria because money is just so easily interchangeable for almost anything that you want. But the truth is that achieving any goal that you define as success only gives a very temporary illusion of happiness at best. Very soon you'll find that the horizon has shifted, the goalpost has moved again and again. You will find something else to be bothered about or concerned about.

!["A minimalist, high-contrast photograph looking down a long, wet asphalt road with two solid yellow lines disappearing into a thick, heavy white fog."](https://storage.ghost.io/c/6c/f4/6cf4a0d5-6d4e-4658-9a8f-d15e6af35beb/content/images/2026/07/wes-hicks-rsBVnIf7WDE-unsplash-resized-optimised.jpg)

"Because he has no goal in mind, everything he does succeeds." / Photo by [Wes Hicks](https://unsplash.com/@sickhews?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText) on [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/photos/foggy-gray-concrete-road-rsBVnIf7WDE?utm%5Fsource=unsplash&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcontent=creditCopyText)

## Choosing Your Interpretation

The truth is that what we consider "success" is a subjective interpretation of events based on your own standards or society's standards or your social circle's standards and so on.

So then how to be always successful?

Always treat whatever happened as a success. Interpret it as a success. You always have the power to choose your own interpretation.

For example, a business or a project has "failed"? Reflect on it and see what are the lessons that you can learn from it. There is always a lesson in everything that happens that is available to you. Therefore you have learned one or more lessons and that is a success. Or even more powerfully, you may have unlearned something that was unhelpful.

Of course, this goes even deeper than that. I'll leave you with a powerful quote from the *Tao Te Ching* on which to reflect and meditate.

> The Master, by residing in the Tao,  
> sets an example for all beings.  
> Because he doesn't display himself,   
> people can see his light.   
> Because he has nothing to prove,   
> people can trust his words.   
> Because he doesn't know who he is,   
> people recognize themselves in him.   
> Because he has no goal in mind,   
> everything he does succeeds.  
>  
> — *The Tao Te Ching, from Verse 22 (Lao Tzu)*
### Sickness Is of the Mind
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/sickness-is-of-the-mind/
Last updated: 2026-07-09T06:39:44.000Z
By the learning of this world, when we think about sickness, we really tend to think about the body primarily. The body does this, it feels this, it feels that, and so on. And then we judge people by the state of their body.

However:

> "Remember, sickness is separation and has nothing to do with the body. Don’t try to judge the state of mind of others by the state of their body, because you have no way of understanding the role that that particular body has in the person’s overall Atonement plan." (The Healing Power of Kindness, Vol. 1: Releasing Judgment by Kenneth Wapnick)

This lays it out very clearly that sickness is what is going on in the mind. The thought of separation from God is the thought of ego, and it is really the root of all human suffering.

## Cause vs. Effect

The state of your mind is primary because it is at the level of cause, while the state of the body is secondary at the level of effect. However, as this quote lays out, it is possible to be in a peaceful state of mind and still have various symptoms in the body.

The thing is, though, that if you are in such a state of mind, then you are not going to give bodily symptoms much importance. You are not going to suffer because of it.

Even when Jesus was walking on this earth and healing people, he always said something along the lines of, "Your faith has healed you." He wasn't saying that *my* power has healed you. He was always pointing with this at the mind.

## The Practical Balance

Now, I am not saying that you should ignore and not do anything about bodily symptoms. Do not overreact to them, but if there are problems, of course go to a doctor and take the appropriate medications. That is not my point here.

The point is that you cannot judge your progress on your spiritual journey by the absence or presence of various bodily symptoms. There are many symptoms which can indeed go away as your state of mind improves, but there are some which may not.

But if you are in a state of mind of peace, joy, happiness, then it simply won't truly affect you anymore.
### Peace Is Not About Productivity
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/peace-is-not-about-productivity/
Last updated: 2026-07-09T06:40:03.000Z
It is natural to feel guilt, demotivation, and anxiety when your actions do not align with your desires and goals. This is from the ego's harsh judgment of yourself. And there is the deeper belief that you need to do something, you need to achieve something to be worthy.

I have also just had a day that I've judged unproductive today and it brought up all these unpleasant feelings. I have realized that I am judging myself as lazy, undisciplined and irresponsible. More accurately speaking, the ego is doing this judging and I am identifying myself with this ego.

### The Obstacle of Goals

But it is very important to realize that there is nothing that you need to accomplish in order to feel peace and joy and happiness. In fact, the very goals that you have can be one of the biggest obstacles to happiness if they are not held lightly and carefully.

Present peace is the one goal that will not lead you astray. Because it puts the focus light on your mind and you will immediately say in every moment, "Well, if I am not feeling peace, joy, happiness right now, then what is going on within my mind and why?"

### Shifting to Awareness

You start to put your attention towards the obstacles to peace. And once you can see these obstacles, all there is to do is to let go of them, let them dissolve, because you are already peace itself.

It is just obscured. Peace is not something that is acquired. It is already here always. It is the backdrop upon which everything seems to happen.

Be at peace. I wish you a peaceful and joyful day.
### No One Is Making You Depressed
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/no-one-is-making-you-depressed/
Last updated: 2026-07-07T08:28:54.000Z
Recently I saw a post on Reddit which started something like: "The gaming industry is making me depressed."

This immediately made me pause.

No, no one or nothing is making you depressed. It is very important to realize that you are making yourself depressed. There is no one else who has the power to do that to you unless you give that power away.

Depression is an inside job, and that is true for other mental health issues as well, like anxiety.

### The Helper vs. The Fixer

Now I am not saying at all that you shouldn't ask for help if you feel depressed. I wholeheartedly recommend finding a therapist—a licensed therapist that you can feel a good connection with—who can help you. If it is a severe depression and the therapist recommends you take some medication, then by all means take some medication as well.

However, it is important to get back to the main point of "don't give your own power away".

If you think *this therapist is going to fix me* or *this medication is going to fix me*, that is not the right attitude to take for deep healing. A good therapist, and the medication as well—they are there to help you help yourself.

### The Gentle Pilot

You have the power to change your state of mind and no one else. Everyone and everything else is simply a helper to get you to that point of realization. You may not be able to control the events that happen but you are able to control the interpretation and meaning you give to those events.

So don't be a passenger on your own healing journey.

And of course, always be gentle with yourself. If you could do just that one thing, that would already make quite a significant difference.

When I am saying that it is an inside job, don't beat yourself up about it. There is no point in that. Simply be aware of it and know that you can claim that power back.

Aim to learn or unlearn something new every day.
### Anger is Never Justified
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/anger-is-never-justified/
Last updated: 2026-07-07T08:29:47.000Z
There is a powerful quote in **A Course in Miracles** that is a big lesson to me.

"Anger is *never* justified. ²Attack has *no* foundation. ³It is here escape from fear begins, and will be made complete. ([ACIM, T-30.VI.1:1-3](https://acim.org/acim/chapter-30/the-justification-for-forgiveness/en/s/339?ref=livelearndie.com#1:1-3))"

Now it is really important that we do not misunderstand this. It is not saying that you *shouldn't* feel anger. It is not saying that you are a bad person if you feel anger. Denying and repressing anger is certainly not healthy.

What it means is that if anger comes up, do not spin up a story justifying it with victims and victimizers.

### The Fabrication of the Story

You may not even be able to do that because the story will just spin up itself in your mind. Your mind will just do that without you seemingly being able to control it.

But don't believe the story.

Every story is a fabrication of the ego, especially if it has personal stakes. The purpose of a story around anger is so that you get attached to it, you get identified with it, and then you get a payoff.

You get the payoff of feeling superior. You get the payoff of feeling righteous, and what that does is it keeps the anger alive. It keeps it going. It refreshes it again and again and again.

You may not have control over outside events but you do have control over the interpretation of the events. So anger is a decision in your mind, usually an unconscious decision.You do have the power to choose to let anger go and eventually to not even let it arise.

### The Power of a Firm "No"

What we do with anger is observe it, understand where it's coming from, and then let it go. Don't let it rule your actions. Don't let it rule your thoughts.

Of course, it doesn't mean that you have to say yes to everything. You can say a very firm "no" without anger, and that's actually even more powerful than an angry "no".

So again, anger is never justified.

Let that sink in.
### The Power of Learning is Learning How to Unlearn
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/the-power-of-learning-is-learning-how-to-unlearn/
Last updated: 2026-07-05T08:55:57.000Z
There is a lot of emphasis on the power of learning and spending time in learning and mastering many different skills in this world. And there's certainly so much to learn ever since we come out of the womb. We need to learn how to walk, we need to learn how to talk, and so on.

But I need to say that in terms of happiness, peace, and spiritual maturity, really the most important skill that we need to learn in this life is unlearning.

### The Overlearned Mind

Most negative emotions come out of accumulated negative thought patterns that are running around in our minds and we identify with them and they generate anger, fear, anxiety, depression, and so on.

We overlearned these patterns so much so that we feel that we don't even have any control over them and they are just running around in our minds.

And seemingly there is no direct control over them indeed, but what can really be done is to become really really conscious of them, become aware of them. That is part of unlearning. That is part of the skill of unlearning. The first step is to recognize and be aware of the thoughts that are running around in your mind.

### The Art of Subtraction

Unlearning doesn't really do anything. It doesn't fight the negative patterns, the negative thoughts. You simply become fully aware of it, recognize it, and then let it go.

Happiness and peace are a natural state and we don't really get there by adding skills and adding new beliefs. The real way to get there is by subtracting, so we unlearn what is dragging us down. Any real learning is really about helping this process of unlearning.

Even just using the words "get there" is not quite right because you are already there. You just don't know it.

### The Frosting and the Mud

There is a lot of talk of positive thinking as a way to arrive at happiness, peace, a good state of mind. However, while it is a helpful stepping stone in the beginning, it's not really it.

If you have a cake of mud and then you put a lot of delicious frosting over it, it's still a cake of mud. I don't think you'll want to eat that.

There's no way around it. You really need to deal with the mud. Dealing with the mud is all the negative patterns that you have learned in your mind and disentangling them, unlearning them. That is the way.

###
### The Ego Is Not the Enemy
URL: https://www.livelearndie.com/the-ego-is-not-the-enemy/
Last updated: 2026-07-04T18:29:20.000Z
There is a popular book, I believe based on Stoic philosophy, called *The Ego Is the Enemy* by Ryan Holiday. This title always makes me think because it highlights a really major misunderstanding, a major mistake, about how to approach the ego, what to do about the ego.

The ego is not the enemy. And why?

Because the concept of an enemy is from the ego, so that's an egoic concept in the first place. If you approach the ego as the enemy, it means you're fighting ego with ego—you're fighting fire with fire. It's not wise to fight the ego.

### The Spiritual Hijack

So the ego is really, really clever and it will hijack your spiritual path, your spiritual journey. You start to realize all these egoic patterns in you, negative thinking patterns. You want to improve, you want to let them go, but then if you think of it as your enemy, you start fighting it and you struggle and you're not getting anywhere.

So what can you do? What can you do about it?

The very first step is seeing it: awareness, recognizing it. Just an aha moment that, *"Oh okay, this is going on,"* like you notice it in your mind. That's the first really critical step.

### Becoming the Witness

Once you've done that, then you start to be able to just observe the negative thinking or negative emotion, whatever is going on in the mind, without acting upon it. It can start to slowly dissipate, release.

It is really important to not judge yourself about it for having an unsettling or negative thought. As soon as you judge yourself about it, that's again from ego. Ego is judging ego.

If you notice that you're judging yourself about it, OK, you just say, *"OK, OK, this is going on."* Don't take it too seriously.

### The Path of Unlearning

These are highly learned automatic patterns. The way out of it is to become really aware of it and let it kind of dissolve in your awareness over time.

If you don't let it take hold of your behaviors, of your mind, then it kind of just peters out eventually. We've learned this over long periods of time, so it also takes quite a bit of time and practice to unlearn it.